The “V” Word: A List Of Valentine’s Day Alternatives

People have very different ways of reacting to the “V” word. There’s a lot of hype and connotation associated with this word.
The “V” word, my readers, is Valentine.


Now, this word might turn some of you away. For instance, some people see the term Valentine and immediately smash their computers on the concrete in a fit of rage, or they just immediately start sobbing and recollecting on all of their miserable attempts (or lack thereof) at finding love.


But I’m here to tell you that having a Valentine doesn’t always equate to having a significant other. WHO KNEW, RIGHT?!


Due to all of the hype in today’s society, Valentine’s Day has become nothing short of a competition for who can be the most romantic and have a fairytale evening, or who can come up with the most enchanting date, or, if you’re the stereotypical college guy who can wine and dine their date in the most impressively affordable way and then get laid the fastest.


SPOILER ALERT: IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY.  So, as Valentine’s Day quickly begins to loom over your heads, fear not, because I have two alternative evenings for ALL of you, no matter who you are.


1. You Can Be Your Own Valentine

Maybe your life is a bottomless pit of single; maybe you just got out of a relationship and are looking for a sense of empowering feelings; maybe you and your significant other are in one of your “we will be fine in the morning” fights; or maybe they are out of town on business and you’re forced to be by your lonesome. Well, don’t let being alone stop you from doing you. In the words of Tom Haverford on Parks and Rec “Treat Yo’ self”- but really.


If you feel like staying in:

  • Buy a pack of Ghirardelli chocolate and a bottle of Moscato Wine
  • Put on those fat pants that you bring out for Thanksgiving
  • Put on your all time favorite film (Yeah, we know about your obsession with Jaws)
  • Order something incredibly greasy and obviously not good for you
  • Run around the house blasting your favorite song that you belt in the shower
  • Splurge and buy yourself that one expensive thing that you’ve always longed for around your birthday and Christmas time, but never actually received because you’re either single, or everyone’s too cheap to buy it for you.


If you feel bold enough to go out:

  • Put on the snazziest clubbing attire you have
  • Put on the best “single and ready to mingle” face at the bar
  • Force yourself to be open minded about meeting new people and trying new things
  • Don’t over analyze any person or situation you find yourself in


No one is stopping you from finding randoms to talk to and dance with. Who knows, you might even find something even more fun than a dance partner. Who cares, you’re entitled to have one absolutely single and shambly evening in your life, right?



2.  Make Your Friend(s) Your Valentine

If by God’s great humor, someone in your super-annoying circle of friends is in the same predicament as you on Valentine’s Day, partner up with them!

Sure, this might be awkward due to the fact that you look like you’re fishing for plans, but, let’s be honest, they were thinking the same thing and didn’t have the balls to make the first move. However, YOU DO, my lovely reader. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being surrounded by people that you (sometimes) love and mutually laughing (or sobbing) about your current predicaments with!


If you feel like staying in:

  • Dress so comfortably that it looks like you left your dignity in a gas station bathroom
  • Buy a bottle or 5 of Moscato Wine (Or, for the guys, something 10x stronger so you don’t feel emasculated)
  • Order Chinese or Pizza and splurge on a huge chocolate-filled dessert
  • Rent that sappy-yet-somehow-a-romantic-comedy movie that everyone said they cried in (Guys, don’t be afraid to try out a good ol’ Rom-Com)
  • Reminisce on hilarious memories of how awkward and ugly you all looked in middle school, or how ugly the guys or girls that you graduated from high school with look now
  • Have a serious or comedic gift exchange between everyone to give you a sense that someone actually thought about you that day


If you feel like going out:

  • Dress like you own half of the city and your father invented Toaster Strudel (should out to Gretchen Weiners).
  • Pick one of the fancier restaurants downtown that you’re typically too cheap to eat at
  • Go to that one club that you usually deem “too edgy” for your lifestyle
  • Buy drinks at the bar that you’ve never tried before
  • If you’re feeling fancy and less depressed, order a round of shots for the group and become “Mr. / Mrs. Popular” for the evening
  • Drag all of your friends out on the dance floor with you when your “jam” comes on
  • Make sure you or your friends don’t get drunkenly attached to random dance partners (Because honestly, you’re not looking for love on the dance floor)


So, with all of that said, I hope that each and every one of you find your niche on Valentine’s Day. Or, if you would like to go with option 3, which is sob uncontrollably until you pass out from dehydration, you can do that….but I wouldn’t recommend it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.