Staff Confessions: My First Kiss Went A Little Like This

By now, most everyone has experienced their first kiss – whether it be in with a nap time partner in kindergarten, or during those awkward middle school years. With that being said, we asked some of the staff members to tell the story of their first lip-locking experience.


“Oh goodness, embarrassing story time! It was my junior year and my friends and I decided to go to this rave club and have our first real “club” experience. So cool, huh? It was interesting to say the least.I ended up meeting this super cute guy and hung out with him the whole night. I could tell that hewanted to kiss me throughout the night, but I kept on avoiding the situation, having been I hadn’t hadmy first real kiss yet; unless you count that 8th grade truth or dare kiss…Well time came for us to leave and part ways. This was crunch time and it was now or never. I could see him leaning in for a kiss and I decided to go for it. My first kiss ended up being my first make out session as well. Hands down one of the most awkward situations in my life. I didn’t know when to stop or what to do and it definitely was not romantic. We went on to date for a little. Good thing things didn’t last because a few weeks ago, I found out that he got arrested for public intoxication. Moral of the story: you won’t find love or a romantic first kiss at a club.”


My parents told me my first kiss was apparently in pre-k. A girl in my class was kissing my face one day after school – I was just struggling for freedom.”


“It was the middle of my freshman year in high school. I had met a boy
that was a year older than me in one of my blow-off classes. We would
sit in the back of the room talking about how cool our lives were on the
weekends. Of course I made every single part of my life up as if I were
some kind of real life Hannah Montana, or whatever. I thought he was
cute, but looking back on it, the only real appeal this kid had was that
he paid attention to me. He was tall, blonde, had blue eyes, and was as
skinny as a pole. He was lanky, his hair was like a knotted mop, and
he always smelt like Head and Shoulders shampoo. The day he asked
for my number and that first text popped up on my hot pink Motorola
Razor, I knew that I was in for a date. All I knew about going on a date is
that it must mean one thing… a nice big smooch was in my near future.

Sure enough, the time came where we went on our first date. We
went to see Juno. Looking back on it, it’s not exactly a good date movie
considering that it’s about a girl that gets preggo, but who cares right?
I wasn’t expecting to watch the movie anyways. Sure I wanted to
see it but if this night was going to be anything like what I’d seen in
movies about high school, meaning it was going to get ‘hot and heavy.’ Girls have
fantasies too! Don’t judge. So it gets to the point in the movie where the
main characters kiss and I turn my head towards my date expecting
some kiss full of sparks and deep passion, but what do I get? A spit filled
disgusting face sucking session. There was nothing redeeming about that kiss,
yet I still pursued a relationship with him, which lasted for 6 grueling
months. I regret everything. Never. Again.”


“Oh gosh, where to start. So it was 8th grade year, I recently started hanging out with a new group of people from across town, and that’s how I met Blake* (You think I would tell you his real name? No way!). So this Blake guy and I started dating, and everything was all sparkles and rainbows – oh yeah, except for the fact that I had never kissed a guy before. Well, we both went to this party at one of our friends’ house for New Years. The girl who was throwing the party put mistletoe above her door in hopes of catching some unlucky guy in the doorway. Romantic, right? I mean, we were all in 8th grade, so everyone was hormonal and awkward. I think we even made a few dance videos to that “Crank That Soulja Boy” song that night. Anyway, so it’s about to be the stoke of midnight, and we’re all heading back up stairs so we can watch the ball drop on TV. That’s when our friends thought it’d be funny to lock the door so Blake and I would be trapped under the mistletoe together. It happened, we’re stuck under the mistletoe, and I’m standing there awkwardly, worrying that our braces would get stuck and I’d have to call my parents and explain the whole story. I’m not going to give a detailed play-by-play, but let’s just say, my face was eaten. Really. There was literally slobber everywhere. I’m just thinking to myself, can we not hug instead? This kissing shit sucks.”


“My first kiss was in a game of truth or dare. Sad, but true. Being 14 and having never
kissed a guy, I was thrilled when I got the chance. I mean the guy didn’t like me, but I
didn’t care. I was finally getting to kiss him! It was a peck that lasted all of a milisecond,
but let me tell you, I dreamt of that milisecond for weeks after. I mulled over the romantic
way he touched my lips and then immediately un-touched them. Bliss for a 14 year old.”


“You know it’s probably not going to be good when the story starts out with, ‘She had a boyfriend.’ Oh, and might I mention that this whole ‘first kiss’ thing didn’t happen until I was 16. I live a pretty cool life, with a complete and total lack of allure. Well, long story short, I was basically in love with this girl, but it obviously couldn’t work out due to the whole boyfriend situation. I suppose you could say that we had an emotional connection that was somewhat incomparable. She and I connected on a mental level that was closer than even her closest girlfriend or her own boyfriend. She was basically every single thing that I wanted in a girl. Sigh, anyway, back to the story. We were sitting in my upstairs game room, watching Glee (how cliché) when she texts me and says, ‘Can I ask you a question?’ So, thinking that this is going to be some kind of joke, I say, ‘yeah, sure!’ She proceeds to say, ‘I really want to kiss you right now.’ I’m thinking to myself, ‘oh my gosh… this is the happiest day of my life.’ So, when Glee went on a commercial break, it happened… quite a few times.
I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I knew it was wrong, I still know that it was wrong, but due to being blinded by the moment, I did it anyway. I suppose she just wanted to “get me out of her system,” or something along those lines. To sum up the ending, she pretty much never spoke to me again after that, and said that if I ever told anyone, she would kill me. Oops… guess i’d better go into witness protection now. Her boyfriend never found out, either. Really, no one at all has any idea that this happened.  I suppose you could say that I don’t have a track record for fairytale endings. More so just blatantly horrible ones.”


“I don’t think anyone’s first kiss was remotely romantic because
I know mine sure as hell wasn’t. I was actually in pre-k playing with
those jumbo cardboard blocks during what our teacher liked to call
“centers.” Anyway, my partner and I, whose name was Chris, were building
a fort underneath this large wooden table, we were just talking and
playing and I was pretty preoccupied with my share of the blocks. Out of
nowhere, when I turned around, he just planted one on me. I wasn’t shocked,
and I didn’t freak out, I didn’t run out of the room screaming “Ewwwww.”
I just simply ignored it.  I said not one word to him and went back to
playing with my blocks. I guess he took that as a sign of “kiss me again”
because when I turned around to get up he kissed me a second time. I don’t
really remember what ran through my mind but I am assuming that I was trying
to pretend it didn’t happen, or show that I wasn’t affected by it. Needless
to say, the rest of my pre-kinder career he ran around the blacktop telling
our classmates that I was his girlfriend, an arrangement I never agreed to.”

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