MYTHBUSTERS: Dating a European Man

We’ve all dreamt about it: getting whisked away by a dreamy, well-dressed, heavy-accented European man and touring the continent together. Let’s face it, you’re reading this article right now because you have dreamt this fantasy at least once in your life. For many of us, Europe has been the dream getaway, filed away with exotic destinations, food, and people. After spending nearly a year in Europe, talking to a few friends with European boyfriends, and I myself dating a German for 6 months, it’s time to give you the lowdown about how your European fantasy will probably fare in reality.

1. Dating boys with accents is so romantic.


As a girl who’s grown up her whole life speaking English, being with a boy who’s only been speaking English for a few short years of his life is a recipe for miscommunication. At times it can be hard to get my point across, because he doesn’t know the meaning of certain words. If we’ve ever had an argument, it’s normal to leave 10 seconds aside so he can punch away on his translator and find out his meaning of the heavy words that are pouring out of my mouth. Sometimes my problems are out of the scope of his vocabulary, and it can get to me at times.

The accents are certainly sexy, but like any relationship, it’s one of the aspects that may tend to fizzle out after the honeymoon stage.


“Babe, I think your friends are great, but if they continue to keep getting this crazy drunk, me and my friends are gonna wanna not go out partying with y’all anymore.”

“Gonna wanna? Y’all? I don’t remember those words being in the TOEFL…”




 2. European men are extremely artsy and are great dancers


Every student in Germany is required by the education system to enroll in a ballroom dancing course, just as mandatory as PE was for you back in grade school. I’m not saying that every single German man knows how to dance, but they’ve all got a sense of it. Kind of like how you have a good sense of playing the recorder.

And being in such a liberal society, they have a better eye for thinking outside the box in terms of creativity.  Dancing doesn’t have a stigma to be for women only.

And yes, every Spanish boy I’ve met knows how to salsa. Stereotypes don’t fall out of the sky, in this case.


“Why, didn’t you know? Us Spanish guys knew how to salsa before we could kick a football. And that really means something.”

3. They are so romantic, and are constantly surprising you with flowers, chocolates, and other goodies.


They have a more discreet way of showing their love. Blink and you could miss it.

I’ve noticed that American boyfriends tend to be much more materialistic. As American girls, we expect tangible things as tokens of appreciation. Face it, what would you remember more? Your boyfriend buying you a bouquet of roses, or him buying you cheese, garlic, onions, and pasta so you two can cook a recipe together that he just learned. My boyfriend showed me that he cares for me by coming to my house and cooking dinner with me after a 12-hour shift. By skipping his work out or even the chance to hang with the boys, he chose to spend a quiet evening with me.

Americans are outspoken and have flashy ways of showing their love. Remember all those engagement proposals that hit YouTube in storm?

Europeans are exactly the opposite.


You didn’t get me anything for valentine’s day?”

“Well, no. But I thought we could make some cream-pork schnitzel and some wine. I made you a cake for dessert, and we could eat that and watch your favorite cheesy rom-com. It’s your day and I want it to be the best for you.”

*Commence my melting heart*

5. They all have perfect hair, perfect style and always look perfect.


Europeans dress to impress. After 6 months of being with my boyfriend, I can count the number of times on one hand that I’ve seen him in regular sweatpants. And that too is always coupled with a Henley shirt or V-neck. They certainly always want to impress the girl they’re dating, even if that means sacrificing comfort.


“Hey sweetie, can you help me choose what shirt to wear tonight? And what scarf should I wear with it? I just can’t decide!”


6. European men are oh… so… sexy


Alright, I promised you all the details, so there was no way I could miss this one. When we girls think of European men, one of the dirty secrets we think of how sensual and romantic they are. It’s true that European men love women: their essence, their energy, and their feminine allure. (In no way do I mean non-Europeans are less romantic. Here, I’m talking about the cultural nuance that is so prevalent. I’ve heard these tales of romance from friends who’ve been in relationships with men in western or Eastern Europe.)

You’ve seen it in the movies; it is certainly true Europeans are more open about bodies and sex, there is no cultural stigma and it is not meant in an obscene or explicitly dirty way. For them, it’s a part of life and they want to achieve it to the best of their abilities – the way they want to achieve successes in the workplace or school. And the realization and compassion is more real than any emotion I’ve ever sensed between sexes. It lingers after a gentle kiss, over conversations, over weeks…


Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Just looking at a beautiful girl.”





(Experiences of my own relationship and my friends with our respective significant others – 2 Germans, 1 Spanish, 1 Hungarian, 1 French – who choose to all remain anonymous. Italicized quotes have all been said.)


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