For some of you, sex may be a new thing you’re trying out lately, and that’s cool. But for those of you who have been at it for awhile, you probably know that sometimes it can get dull. So, in order to keep your sex spicy like your personality (yeah? yeah.), here’s some of my favorite tricks to use in the bedroom…or you know, wherever it happens.
1. Your first step towards a better sex life – watch some porn, read some erotica, check out some blogs (like this one, duh) or whatever you’re comfortable with in order to find some bedroom inspiration. An artist always gathers inspiration before just slappin’ some paint on a canvas, right? So do that. If you’re uncomfortable with the thought of watching porn – whether it be the thought of watching other people perform sex is a weird concept to you, or you don’t believe in the male-dominating forms of porn on the interwebz, that’s A-OK! There’s a myriad of sites out there with all sorts of stuff, so go at your own pace and figure out what works best for you! However, keep in mind that some things you may see are unrealistic and practically impossible to perform in real life. Just keep a realistic mindset, and you’ll do great!
2. Talk to your partner about your ideas so that both of you can be on the same page. It may seem a little awkward at first, but maybe they have sexual desires they’d like to try out as well! You never know until you try. Additionally, just the act of becoming vulnerable and expressing your fantasies to one another could be erotic in itself. Go get ’em, tiger.
3. Try a new location! The bed is usually the go-to location, which it’s comfortable, so it totally makes sense. However, now is the time to step up your game – test out the floor, a love seat, countertop, somewhere outside, the car, a swing, and so on and so forth. New locations can provide for excitement and interesting positions. Whatever you choose to do, just be sure to mind your neighbors or passer-by-ers, especially if a bay window is your location of choice. If necessary, do it at night or turn off the lights for some added privacy; this will also allow you and your partner to test out your senses (other than sight) during intercourse for a more sensual experience.
4. Each pick a toy from an adult store to use on the other person. Again, make sure it’s consensual first! There are tons of toys and goodies you can find that will add a little ‘umph’ to your sex life. You may start out with something as simple as pop rocks for him or a vibrating ring for her, and work your way up to the bigger guns, if you so choose. And if you’re tight on cash, crushed ice or minty gum can always provide for fun (and pleasure) at a low cost!
5. Treat yo’selves. Whether it be a romantic night in or a weekend getaway, take the time to spoil yourselves! A night away from all responsibilities and stressors can allow you and your partner the opportunity to reconnect and just focus on one another. Maybe you two can rekindle the spark you first had at the beginning of your sexlationship (yeah, it’s a thing), which can lead to a night of some good ol’ sensual lovin’.
6. Play a game! Adding a little competition can make foreplay a little more exciting. Some ideas might be strip chess or strip poker, a sex position card game, foreplay dice, and so on. Even your favorite video game can have a sexual twist put on it, so why not give it a shot!
7. Share your fantasies and try them out! Whether it be dressing up as a naughty nurse, sporting some stringy lingerie, or that one kinky thing you’ve had at the back of your mind, why not give it a shot? As long as it’s legal, of course… (unless you’re into that sort of thing). A neat idea that was featured in one of our Valentine’s articles was creating a painting on a large canvas while having sex; it’ll be messy but surely a fun and interesting experience. And hey, you get some cool artwork out of it in the end!
8. Stop taking yourselves so seriously. Most people are jaded by sex on TV, in the movies, and in Cosmo. It doesn’t have to be hot, heavy, and sweaty to be enjoyable. Remember that sex is supposed to be FUN. It’s OK to mess up and be sort of awkward at first. Finding a new location, toy, or fantasy might take some practice. But, hey, that’s part of the fun. Enjoy the challenges, strange angles, and vulnerability of spicing it up, and remember that it’s all about enjoying yourselves. Now go forth, and get naked.