Facebook 101: Relationship Etiquette

Let’s be honest, social networking can either make or break a relationship. “OMG, we’re Facebook Official?” Admit it, that’s a big deal in today’s technologically formulated society, and the way we conduct ourselves in the realms of social media gives our friends and followers a chance to make perceptions about our personalities and personal lives. With this being said, we should lay down some loose guidelines for Facebook relationship etiquette, which we will refer to from now on as FRE.
  • The first rule of FRE: Refrain from posting intimate pictures of make out sessions or obnoxious statuses of affection. NO kissing pictures, the last thing people want to see when they log into Facebook is soft-core porn. No one wants to estimate how far your tongues are jabbed down each other’s throats. It’s trashy, and it is embarrassing. Do not start a career in writing cheesy romance novels by letting your statuses convey the depth of love for your significant other by updating Facebook with “I luv u so much bby, ur my world.” Ok, I admit that I am exaggerating a tad, but you get the point, keep it classy.
  • Relationships get bumpy from time to time, which brings us to this next point: Never publicly bash your significant other or openly argue with them on any social networking site. This, of course, is not healthy for the image of your relationship with each other and it is never a smart idea to inform the entire world, on the internetz, of how steaming with anger and angst you are. The only good thing that can come from such a public display is giving your friends and followers a free soap opera.
  • Even though we can make ourselves out to be a new person on the internet, the rules of fidelity that apply in the real world should still hold ground in the cyber world. It is true that there is room to be sneaky and shady on sites such as Facebook where you can hide your relationship status, privately message another person, and keep certain statuses away from certain people. If you’re single and ready to mingle, feel free to take full advantage of all the questionable options Facebook has to offer. But people, if you are in a serious relationship, there should be no reason for you to flirtatiously IM some boy/girl that is not your significant other. This is the part of FRE that most people miss, which is the cause of most problems for contemporary relationships. You know how they say “the truth will always surface,” or some cliche quote of that sort? Well, it will always come to light on the internet just as it does in real life. The point being, just don’t be shady.
  • So, you know how the sacredness of sex went out of fashion? Well, so has the importance and prominence of the relationship status. There is not a day in the life of moi where I can log into Facebook without seeing some old acquaintance “in an open relationship,” or crying about how “it’s complicated.” Just a couple of hours ago, you were “in a relationship” and happy? The most important rule of FRE: never change your relationship status unless the situation legitimately calls for doing so. A lot of people, when they get into a small lovers quarrel, like to change the status of their relationship just to poke the other in the spleen. It’s important to hold back from being so petty, because not only does it taint your relationship to a certain extent, it gives your friends and followers the impression that those intimate pictures and obnoxious statuses of affection were quite meaningless. This is also a form of publicly bashing your significant other, a type of silent argument. And since everyone else on your friends list is implying that your relationship is built on tediousness and empty words of affection, it gives rise to the messages being sent to your inbox from distant admirers trying to move in and make you theirs, which then causes you to have to delete said messages after flirting back or begin a trail infidelity which you will then have to cover.
So, there you have it. The four most important rules of Facebook relationship etiquette. If you have read this, and found that you have broke one or more of these, I think it’s time to reevaluate how much business you have in the realm of social networking, and being in a relationship for that matter.

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