As a child, I was always taught that sex was completely off limits for people who were not married. I couldn’t argue with that, because I was 6 years old, and what did I know about sex? As I got older, I started watching more Lifetime movies and saw The Notebook for the first time, and I saw that couples were having intercourse…but weren’t married. It actually made me really frustrated. It blew my mind; why were these people doing that? They’re not married!



As I progressed further into my teen years, I lost the braces and glasses, and started getting boyfriends. I started dating this one guy, let’s name him “Jack,” during the summer before 9th grade. We hung out constantly, and after awhile, he began to make a move on me. At this point, I had never kissed a boy before. So, he was my first. Then things completely spun out of control. He wanted to get all touchy-feely, and move on to the “bigger things” like other people we knew were all doing. I had always told myself that I’d wait till marriage, because that’s what I was told to do, right?

So, a couple years pass by in our relationship, we progressively move into more things, and I keep telling myself that I’m still pure, and I’m still a virgin because we hadn’t done “IT.” After a solid two years of practicing “everything but” (meaning everything in the sexual realm except actual sex), Jack kept pushing me to go all the way. I didn’t know how to feel about this. I didn’t think he was the right one, because I had always been under the impression that the first time would be something extremely special;  an unforgettable bond. I mean, I had imagined it in a meadow with flowers and sunshine and the perfect guy; but was “Jack” THAT guy? Was his hockey gear scented bedroom that ideal meadow? Ultimately, I said no, so Jack and I broke up.

*wiping sweat from forehead* Gah, glad I dodged THAT bullet.

So, yes, I had saved myself from having sex with this infamous “Jack” fellow. However, it led me to believe that in any relationship thereafter, it was necessary for “hooking up” to occur, since I had done it before. I was used to that lifestyle, and I really didn’t know anything different. This guy after that guy came along, and I continued my “everything but” routine, and was still able to tell all of my friends that I was a virgin when playing Truth or Dare… but was I? By technicality, some of the things that I would do with guys was considered to be ‘sex’… but I didn’t consider them to be that, since it wasn’t…you know, in that spot. So one guy turns into 10, or maybe even 15… I lost count after awhile. I didn’t think too much of it, honestly, especially since I wasn’t going “all the way” like some of my friends were doing. Sadly, the thing is, here I am in college still telling myself that I’m a virgin, and the question still stands today …Am I still a virgin?


So, I have this friend, “Steph,” who has been dating a guy for quite a few years now. They’re a match made in heaven. A couple years into their relationship, “Steph” and “Joe” decided that they were ready to move to the next level and create a closer bond between them, so they did the big deed. They did “it.” The unspeakable “it.” They’ve only ever done anything romantically or sexually with one another, but now that Steph has had sex, I consider myself to be more “pure” than her, since technically, I’m still a virgin.

I oftentimes get teased by my friends for being the “BJ Queen,” and my for room being the “hook-up haven,” but I tell them that I’m still a virgin, and that by technicality, I’m not a whore. So what if I’ve hooked-up with 20-something different guys if it’s not going all the way? It has definitely got me thinking, though. My friends are starting to get engaged to these guys that they’ve been with for years, having had sex with only their partner, and here I am still hooking up with the town’s single male population; doesn’t anyone want to marry me? Or maybe even just date me? These girls who have already had sex with their boyfriends are getting engaged, yet here I am, a virgin, still single as ever. I guess it makes sense, though. Would a guy want a girl who has given it all away to only one person, or would he want someone who has “fooled around” with 20+ guys, without going all the way?


Who is more pure now? 

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