So, you and your “boo thang” just broke up, and now you are devastated. All you want is to feel loved, and if your ex can’t give that to you, then you will just find someone to take his spot right? WRONG. At least not right away. After much heartbreak, I have come to the conclusion that I have gained enough knowledge and experience to know how to rebound the RIGHT way (or, at least to some extent). Here are my top 5 tips on how to rebound the right way and not how to rebound right away.

0646aa74af9a08f5861a8b99449f1640
Photo Source

Tip #1. Do NOT search for a rebound guy.

99% of the time, you’re looking for someone to keep you company at night, and someone who will get your mind off of your ex. However, in reality, you could be hurting this new person who could actually like you. Now, I’m not saying to swear off all members of the opposite sex forever, but don’t jump into anything; at least, not for a few weeks. If you would never want to be a rebound for another person, don’t make anyone a rebound for yourself. What you should do is: if there are any guys who show interest in you, keep it friendly. Of course, you can still be flirtatious and friendly, but just make sure that they understand the situation, and doesn’t try to take advantage of you. What if they ask you out on a date? Well, if you feel as if you are over your ex, then go for it; but if the first thing that you think about when this new person asks you out is “ooh this will make my ex jealous,” then maybe you should take some time to reevaluate. Sure, it may be a plus if you make your ex jealous, but PLEASE make sure that you are being fair to this person. You could be sabotaging your own chances with a potential perfect partner!

Tip #2. Keep yourself busy, and surround yourself with good people.

I cannot stress this enough. After my first few heartbreaks, I would find myself alone and always moping around. Obviously, it is inevitable that this will occur, but there are ways to get yourself out of that funk. One thing is to force yourself to hang out with friends more often. The company of others somehow seems to lift my sad soul, and they always give uplifting “you don’t need another person to complete you” advice. Plus, when you’re around others, you don’t want to bring them down with your sadness! So, chin up and stick it out. If you go to school, get involved. I kept myself busy with organizations where I could help others out, such as peer mentoring and volunteering. This, in return, actually helped me, because I was focused on helping others and it kept me occupied and busy so that I wouldn’t concentrate on my unhappiness as much. You will quickly see that there are more important things in life that you could be doing rather than wallowing in sadness, like making a difference!

Tip #3.  Delete him / her off of social media.

This is the tough one, but once you do it, a big wave of stress is released and this is band aid (quick and painless to pull off, but you just have to do it no matter how scared you are). I understand that you still may want to remain/become genuine friends with this person. That’s fine, I’m still friends with a few of my exes, but I had to take this step in order for it to happen. If you are constantly surrounded by your ex whenever you log in to Facebook or Twitter, it just reminds you of them, and all of the negativity suddenly pours back into your mind. Remember, if you want to stay friends with them in the future, try to tell them that you are only doing this because you need to focus on your own happiness at the moment. It will seem less bitchy if you tell them beforehand, rather than them finding out on their own. If they are truly understanding, they will know that you are just trying to be civil. You are trying to get over this person; you do not need to be seeing their face or thoughts constantly. Also, this will prevent you from creeping, which I am very guilty of. Also, delete your old conversations through text. I found myself going through old texts, and creating this picture perfect person who said all these cute things to me, when in reality those “cute things” were said months ago and did not apply to the present. If you’re really strong, delete his number as well. After deleting them, you will find yourself not tempted to creep on them (mainly because you can’t), and frankly, not giving a damn about them anymore.

Tip #4. DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT DRUNK TEXT.

This is something that many people, including myself, have given in to, and ended up looking like a damn fool every time. Sure, it may be tempting, but think, is this what you really want? If you say yes, you may need to think about it a little bit longer. There’s a reason y’all ended things, but if you are meant to be you will be. Remember this, though, when you are drunk, you are not thinking straight. Also, remember that if you text them, and they are with their buddies, they will probably start showing their friends your texts, thereby opening up the possibility of gossiping about you. Would you want that to happen? That’s a negative, ghost rider. Let’s face it, the odds are usually not in your favor if you are begging for your ex back with a text that says “Heyyyy i miss yoi com ober!!1” If he does come over, chances are they just want some, and they’ll leave satisfied while you’re once again, alone.

Tip #5. What do you do when THEY are the one who won’t leave YOU alone?

Similar to tip 3, delete them off of your social media, and DO NOT reply to their texts. No matter how low they go, they only do it to get a rise out of you. You could block their number, that way you would not be able to see the nasty things that they say, and you won’t concern your life with them. If you must defend yourself, or if they are defaming your reputation in any way that you see unfit, then go ahead and do it. Sooner or later, though, they will give up. And if they insist on not giving up? Well, then maybe it’s time to file a restraining order (half kidding/half serious).

 

I’m no love expert, but those are my tips to follow after a relationship ends. Every situation is different, and some of these may not apply to you personally. Just remember that you are a strong independent woman/man that don’t need no man/woman, but if you want one, just be patient. Use every past relationship as a learning experience, and grow from it.

Cover Photo Source