Somehow, no matter how much precaution I take, I am unable to avoid the inevitable awkwardness that pops up in my everyday life. I’ve become accustomed to blank stares and confused faces, so it doesn’t bother me that much anymore, but every so often I’ll be in a situation that, when reflected on, brings shame and thoughts like, “why me?” to my mind.

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Back in high school, I worked with a guy, let’s call him “Philip.” He was older than me, and had quite the mature aura about him. I had a little middle school girl crush on him, which I would have never admitted back then. Occasionally, we would text back and forth, and one time in particular, he texted me saying that he’d thought that he had seen me at the mall earlier that day. I asked him why he didn’t say “hi,” saddened by the missed opportunity of a little conversation with my ever-so-dreamy coworker. He replied with, “Well, I didn’t want to interrupt, because you were skipping through the mall with your…. boyfriend?” SHIT. Just my luck. Why do attractive people always seem to notice me at my least attractive moments?! And it wasn’t my boyfriend, which I made sure to note in my reply. So terribly embarrassing.

Speaking of unattractive moments, I absolutely hate it when hot people (either guys or girls) see me working out. Some girls will fix their makeup and hair before they hit the gym, which I find ridiculous (but maybe this is why they do it). Any makeup that I’m wearing while I work on my fitness is just leftover from earlier that day (or the night before), and my hair is only “fixed” so that it isn’t flying in my face while I’m jogging on the treadmill. Usually, I’m good at avoiding people that I know, but recently, I wasn’t so lucky. I was looking especially unfortunate on this evening, wearing dirty leggings and an oversized t-shirt, when I came home to a text from an old friend (who I used to have a “thing” with). This text was asking if I was just out running. Turns out, he lives right by me, which makes it even worse, because now I have to be extra careful around the neighborhood.

Something that brings awkwardness into my life, more regularly than other things, is Tumblr. I use Tumblr for hilarious memes, artsy photos, and writing out my momentary frustrations. Somehow, however, every time I’m scrolling through my dashboard in public, someone I follow decides to go on a porn-reblogging spree, and ends up making me seem like a weird, sex-crazed girl to anyone who might glance at my computer screen. IT’S THE WORST THING EVER. I’ve learned to not go on Tumblr unless I’m in a secluded area, especially if there are children (or my parents, or anyone that even slightly matters) around.

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